The things you learn on a Saturday. .. .

1. The creation of the sinus cavity must have occurred after the first sin. Why else would a small whole that creates utter havoc, mucous, and pain be created?

2. No offense to anyone raised there, but people in Cary are downright rude.

3. In order to survive driving in Cary, and its rude drivers, one must study the techniques of a NASCAR driver (which strikes me as slightly ironic).

4. A male, is a male, is a male, no matter what the species. They must mark their "territory" frequently.

5. When you attempt to avoid people, you can be most assured that you will run into someone you know.

6. There are approximately 2057 (sounds like a good number) allergy medicines, none of which REALLY work.

7. Peanut Butter is the best condiment around (I guess it is a condiment?). It goes well on anything.

8. Depsite how you feel or your mood, when the sun is shining and its 80 degrees, you can't help but smile!

9. Dogs don't understand the concept of sleeping in on a Saturday.

10. I love spring!

Adult ADD?? or OCD?? or just plain craziness?

So, I learned something about myself today. Today was the first day since, oh, probably Christmas, that I had absolutely nothing I had to do nor anywhere I had to go. Most people would relish in the joy of having an entire day to do whatever they please. However, I found myself going nuts!!! I discovered that I really don't know how to relax anymore. I have gotten so accustomed to always having a lengthy "To Do List" with more items on it than time in the day, that I don't know what to do when there is not a list. I tried to sit outside in the sun and just take in the gorgeous weather, but I found myself thinking of things I could fill my time with. TV? No. Shopping? No. Computer? No. Reading? No. Cleaning? Already done. Cooking? Did that yesterday. Play with dog? Already wore her out. Call friends? Their all at work. So what did I do, I went and aimlessly walked around all the local nurseries looking for flowers to plant. Did I buy any, of course not! Those who know me understand that I am a terrible decision maker when it comes to petty decisions. So I came home, and pondered the fact that I have a terrible time just being, yet I love when I can "just be." So, what is wrong with me?? I think part of it stems from the fact that I work in a career that never, EVER, stops. Even when I track-out, there is always something on the back burner to be done. If I am not at school, I am usually at home doing work or thinking about school. When I am at school, I am teaching, while trying to assess whether they are grasping the material, keeping my eye on Susie who sends love notes in class, Timmy who tends to wet his pants, Rico who draws gang pictures, Bob who is a slow reader and needs four repititions, Sally who tends to stare at a blank wall all day, Joe who has anger issues and wants to punch his neighbor any chance he gets, thinking about the fact that I have thirty minutes of material to fit into fifteen minutes so I can get the kids to lunch on time in order to stop by the media center and pick up the books for science I requested and sign up for the projector I need next Monday, check my mailbox and attempt to sort through the piles of papers put in there, check emails from a parent who emails me 5 times a day, attempt to eat a cup of applesauce for lunch, run back up to the office and talk to the secretary about the 24th professional development day I have to attend, and try to be back to the cafeteria in twenty-five minutes to get the kids. Oh did I mention I have to attempt to go to the bathroom sometime in there as well??? I have come to the conclusion that my job has created Adult ADD in me. My brain feels as though it must run in 20 different directions in order to function. So, I made a resolution today (yes, I know it's not New Years, but hey, we all work at our own pace). . . . I am going to have one day a month without a "To Do List." I can just be me!! Oh dear. . . what will I do when I have children?????

On a lighter note

Way to start my first blog with such a heavy topic! I am not usually so deep. . . I mean really, I spend my days with kids who claim to have monkeys for brains! Today was a fabulous day! I realized that I am becoming more like Martha Stewart everyday, and it frightens me slightly! My grandmother is in town for the first time in four years, and today I got to entertain her. We went to the farmers market, to buy fresh produce of course. I then took her to the cutest little deli, may favorite little hideaway, Serendipity, in downtown Cary for lunch. We then went to the chocolate shop and to Fresh Market, to buy fresh flowers of course, another one of my favorites. I then brought her to my house and cooked a three course meal. I already knew just how much I love to cook, but I thoroughly enjoy entertaining! This is where the frightening Martha Stewart realization occurred. Despite the jesting from my family, they enjoyed the small little touches I added, including the fresh fruit on the "healthy" pie that I made. I think I missed my true calling in life. . . who needs teaching, I am aiming to the next Paula Deen. . . you know, without the multiple pounds of butter that is! I guess I'll add that inspiration to my "List of Things To Do When I Quit Teaching." Although at this rate, I love my kiddos too much to quit!

Inspiration

So, I have joined yet another bandwagon, first facebook, now a blog. I try not to be a follower, but now that I have my life back after completing my National Boards portfolio, I am feeling unusually inspired to write a blog. Maybe it is because I am not used to actually having free time, and I have an unusually hard time relaxing, so I feel the need to do something semi-productive. For whatever reason, I decided to make my first post about how the Lord has recently tugged at my heart. I serve on a greeting team at church, and this past weekend during our "huddle" time, rather than having the usual devotion, we heard the testimony of a firefighter who was once addicted to gambling, but through grace was rescued from his addiction. As he was sharing, I began thinking to myself, "Gosh, my testimony seems so boring compared to his. I wish I had one of those miraculous life changing testimonies like so many have. I wish I had some really aww-inspiring story to share." I began to think about what I would share if asked about my testimony. I think for those of us raised in church, particularly in the "Bible Belt South," it is often hard for us to think about how we really came to know, understand, and love our God because it is a part of life that has always been there. We don't really know life without it. I mean for me, we moved to NC when I was 7, started going to church, I accepted Christ when I was 9, and have pretty much walked the straight and narrow ever since (minus a few bumps along the way). However, I began to think about how it can often be more difficult for those who have grown up in the church to maintain and understand an intimate relationship with God. We get so comfortable with living the "Christian" lifestyle that we have always known, and we often forget and neglect to value our relationship with Christ, and the great sacrifice that was made for our freedom. This was never more clear to me than when I was in college. It was at that point that I began to truly understand what being a Christian was about, because for the first time, I realized my inability to control my life, and how much I truly needed Christ. It is there I feel my testimony begins, and it is there that I will begin sharing a brief enlightening moment (well, if you know me, you know it won't be brief, so get over it ;) ).

For most of my childhood I had the typical picture perfect world. I lived in the suburbs with my middle class family (complete with the two kids and a dog). My parents were, and still are, happily married after 32 years. I took dance and cheered, my sister played soccer and ran track. We spent two days a week at church, and the rest of the days on one athletic field or another, or with youth group. We had barbeques in the backyard with friends, while we played volleyball in the side yard or horseshoes in the back. I was a straight A student, as was my sister. My parents were loving and involved in every aspect of life. Daddy took us out on the boat and taught us how to fish, while Mom taught us how to cook, made our costumes, and worked on school projects. My childhood was very similar to that out of a storybook (it wasn't all a bed of roses, but for the most part, I can't complain). Because of the way I was raised, I often took for granted the blessings in my life. I also took for granted my Savior. That is until it all came tumbling down. Through a series of events, that are too numerous, detailed, and painful to recount right now, my sister became very ill when I was in college. What began as compulsive exercise, led to a battle with anorexia and many other life altering decisions with serious consequences that had a major impact on the entire family. What many do not realize is that anorexia is a very serious mental disorder that has various ripple effects. As a result, many weeks were spent in the hospital or at a rehab center hundreds of miles away, wondering how this could have happened. Financial, emotional, physical, and spiritual hardship befell my family in the worst way. My perfect world had crumbled. I was embarassed, disappointed, and bitter. I didn't understand why God would allow this to happen to my family. Why didn't she listen? Why was she doing this to herself and my family? Why was she being so selfish? Why wasn't she thinking before acting? It was through the next seven years that I realized that God allowed this to happen for multiple reasons, one being so that I would understand his grace and mercy. I had to understand what it meant to give freely, despite what a person deserves. Because my life had gone according to plan in the past, I had never been required to do this. I was broken, and needed to be broken. He was requiring me to love someone who didn't want to be loved, nor did I think deserved my love, help, and support. It was then that I realized, that is exactly what Christ has done for me. I don't deserve anything that I am given, but he gives it freely. I don't deserve salvation and eternal life, but He gives it to me despite what I deserve. Through recent years, God has continued to break my "perfect" world in many different ways, but each time He does, I grow to understand that it is necessary. I have learned that without these moments, I would be a lukewarm Christian, the type God "spews out of his mouth." I would continue to be complacent and comfortable just skimming the surface of life. The blessings I receive would be neglected and taken for granted. Ironically, there is a quote in the book Because of Winn Dixie that I read to my students each year that talks about how we wouldn't understand the sweetness of life without the sadness. I couldn't agree more.

I am happy to say that although my sister's illness continues to be a journey with highs and lows, she is doing much better, and I am very proud of the growth she has made. She is a blessing to me, and I love her dearly.


So, there you have it, a small window into a much more complex testimony of my life. I knew I couldn't make it brief!